Grocery Sackers, Before They Fell in Love

A Cheesy Poem for My Husband Happy Valentine’s Day, Dan the Man (D.J.)! 2/14/10 Tall and scrawny Short sleeves, Tasmanian Devil tie Big white smile, slightly droopy eye Dark blonde hair slicked down Faded green apron double-tied Crooked name tag—Hi, I’m Dan Pushing carts, twelve at a time Paper or plastic, ma’am? Don’t smash my… Continue reading Grocery Sackers, Before They Fell in Love

Grinchy Christmas Musings and a Holiday Party to Remember

I was looking forward to impressing all of you with a heartfelt blog about how I found my Christmas spirit this year. Grinch No More! Maria the Reformed Elf Welcomes her 40th Christmas with a Renewed Sense of Peace and Love for All Humanity! Ah, if only. I don’t know what it will take to… Continue reading Grinchy Christmas Musings and a Holiday Party to Remember

How Do You Rate on the F.R.I.E.N.D. Scale? Fitting Room Intelligence, Etiquette, and (In)Decency

This is not a warm and fuzzy friendship quiz. This is a hilarious rant cleverly disguised as a lighthearted personality inventory. Think for a moment: The last time I was out trying on clothes in a department store fitting room, how did I behave? Keep track of your answers to the following statements, or scroll… Continue reading How Do You Rate on the F.R.I.E.N.D. Scale? Fitting Room Intelligence, Etiquette, and (In)Decency