Popcorn and Pigtails

Easter Egg Hunt Advice from a 5-Year-Old

My 5-year-old daughter, Audrey, was thrilled when I brought out all our Easter decorations this morning.  Now my living room floor is covered in shredded green and purple “grass,” mismatched plastic egg halves, Easter books, empty Easter baskets, and chick and bunny stuffed animals.  We’ve already had five or six or fifty Easter egg hunts in the last hour, and if you think I’m getting sick and tired of Easter egg hunts, you’re absolutely wrong.  

Follow Audrey’s rules to have a fun, cool, awesome Easter egg hunt in your own home:

Rule #1:  Warm up for the Easter egg hunt by eating all the ancient, petrified jelly beans and malted milk eggs that you find at the bottom of the Easter baskets as you’re getting them out of storage.  Be nice! Save some for Mommy. Don’t be surprised if she shrieks and goes on a mad hunt for the little bottle of Ipecac syrup she got when you were a baby. Tell her you’re fine and then, for good measure, tell her she’s the best mom in the world and that you love her so much and that she’s really pretty.

Rule #2:  Hide a couple Easter eggs underneath Daddy’s dirty boxer shorts on the bedroom floor.  Hide a few more eggs inside Brother’s stinky shoes. Do NOT hide eggs in the toilet (yes, it’s a funny idea and you were very clever to think of it, but don’t do it).

Rule #3:  Wear a pink bunny ears headband and hop around while you’re searching for Easter eggs.  Exclaim “Ah-HA!” every time you find an egg, even if it’s in plain sight.

Rule #4:  Whenever Mommy is about to find one of the Easter eggs you hid, point to it and yell out “There’s one!” before she can grab it.  That’s not annoying in the least. It doesn’t matter if she’s already told you, “Let me find the eggs myself!” Since when have you listened to anything she says?  It’s not Mother’s Day, is it?

Rule #5:  Hide the eggs.  Find the eggs. Hide the eggs.  Find the eggs. Take turns hiding and finding the eggs.  It never gets old. Are you still wearing those pink bunny ears and hopping around?  Who knew Easter egg hunting was such a great workout?

Rule #6:  Have a very happy Easter!   

This article was previously published in 2011.

More Easter humor by Maria Roth:

Hop Teaches Kids Important Facts About Easter

Lost Letters to the Easter Bunny