A Guide for Curious Children
Hi, kids! I’m very sorry to hear that you haven’t been able to find your hidden Christmas presents. Moms and dads are so annoying. Don’t you hate how they leave you with a boring babysitter and go shopping for hours and hours, and then hide your new stuff while you’re asleep? Your parents can’t possibly expect you to wait till Christmas morning to find out what you got. New packages from Amazon are arriving daily—it’s torture!
I understand. I’m a mom and I have to hide my kids’ Christmas presents every year. But I remember what it feels like to be a kid who can’t wait for Christmas morning to come, and I’m prepared to share all my best present-hiding secrets with you. You are so lucky! (Don’t show this article to my kids, okay? Promise? Thanks.)
First, check all the bookcases in the house. See if any Christmas presents—new toys or movies or video games—are hiding behind the books. It’s dusty, I know. Even if you don’t find your presents, I bet you will find several books that you’d like to read. Mom or Dad would be happy to read to you (just don’t tell them you were looking for your hidden Christmas presents). Reading is soooooooo much more fun than playing video games and watching TV, isn’t it?
Another great place to find your hidden Christmas presents is in the refrigerator—in those vegetable crisper drawers that you never open. Check it out! What? Nothing but carrots? Well, why don’t you eat a carrot? They’re sweet and crunchy, and loaded with vitamins. Yum! A carrot beats a Cheeto any day! Now you have more energy to search for your presents.
Where’d you put your backpack? You better go get it. Moms are really sneaky. You might think there’s no way Mom could have hidden your new Hatchimal or Fingerling toys inside your backpack while you were at school, but shouldn’t you check, just to make sure? I bet she put them inside your homework folder. Yep. She knew you’d never look in there. Find anything? Nothing but homework, eh? Well, you may as well do your homework. Don’t rush! Write neatly and check your work!
What’s seven times four?…Did you say 28? Excellent. Now you’re ready for your math test and ready to find your hidden Christmas presents. The next place I recommend checking is under your bed. You thought Dad would hide your presents under his bed? That’s crazy! He shoved the Toys ‘R’ Us bag under your bed, with all the random LEGO bricks, action figures, old spelling tests, torn books, long-lost Matchbox cars, dirty socks, and drawings of butts. Mom and Dad know how you like to kick stuff under your bed when you’re “cleaning” your room. Yeah, you’re not fooling them. You need to pull all that stuff out and put it away where it goes. Then shine a flashlight under there and see if you can find the Toys ‘R’ Us bag loaded with your Christmas gifts.
No luck? Well, if the Toys ‘R’ Us bag isn’t under your bed, it’s got to be in your closet. My goodness, it sure is a mess in there! Better clean it out real good and put all the dirty clothes in the hamper. Throw away those candy wrappers and organize those shoes. Your closet is not a trash can—but it’s a perfect place to hide Christmas gifts.
No? Oh, I’m sorry you didn’t find anything. Your parents must be very clever. I have one final suggestion. Straighten, dust, sweep, and vacuum the entire house, looking for clues. Whip up some dinner while you’re at it. Maybe you’ll find the Toys ‘R’ Us, Amazon, and Walmart receipts tucked inside Mom’s cookbook, and that’s almost as good as finding the Christmas presents themselves!
Steer clear of the basement, attic, and Mom and Dad’s car trunks this time of year. Those are the most obvious places to hide Christmas presents, and you already know your parents are way too smart to hide your stuff there.
Don’t feel bad if you don’t find your presents. They’re supposed to be a surprise, you know. And don’t whine if you don’t get every single toy you told Santa you wanted. Look at all the blessings you already have. Never forget that you’re a blessing to your family and friends, too.
Now go wrap up that heartwarming picture of five big butts that you painted just for your mom, and hide it where she’ll never find it. I bet you can’t wait to see her face when she opens your gift on Christmas morning. That moment of surprise—and delight—is so special…
Need any last-minute gift ideas for the kids on your Christmas list? Here are some of my favorites: