Welcome to my shiny new blog! You’re probably here by mistake. I’m so sorry to disappoint you. You were innocently searching for popcorn recipes or a cute new hairstyle for your daughter, and you pulled THIS–some weird lady’s obnoxious blog–out of Google’s grab bag instead. Oops! Don’t feel bad. We’ve all done it. I once typed “Why don’t my kids ever throw away their f***ing trash?” into Google, and ended up browsing recipes for peach cobbler for forty minutes–because all the “experts” blame me for the mess, not my messy kids, and I thought a nice homemade dessert (which I did not share with my kids) would make my shame go away (it didn’t).
My goal is to entertain and occasionally inspire all of the wonderful people who visit my blog, even the folks who wander in accidentally. When I plug the keywords “popcorn” and “pigtails” into my own scattered brain, I find myself smiling and relaxing. Popcorn and pigtails are fun, casual, lighthearted, fluffy, bouncy, carefree, salty or sweet. Giggling girls at birthday parties. Pippi Longstocking! Braids and bright ribbons. Carousel horses. A burst of laughter in a dark movie theater. Crunchy, satisfying tidbits. Soft curls floating in a warm breeze.
I aim to give you, my dear readers, that “popcorn and pigtails” emotional experience with a peppy mixture of personal stories, opinions, short fiction, satire, and other eclectic surprises. I promise that my posts will be 85% light and fun. Please allow me to be just 10% serious, and 5% informative and thought-provoking.
I also plan to update and republish some articles I wrote ten years ago, back when I was a naive thirty-year-old who thought it would be “so easy” to make money writing nothing but humor and fiction. Now that I’m a wise forty-year-old, I realize that sharing and connecting with people is what’s truly important, not money. Nevertheless, I will use this platform to shamelessly promote the hell out of my forthcoming novel, when I’m not writing about my latest triumphs and failures and discoveries, or my perfectly imperfect and precious children and generous husband…or complaining about my weird neighbors again.
I hope you’ll click my “follow” button, and comment, and contact me immediately if you’re so blown away by my writing that you want to offer me a six-figure publishing contract. But if you don’t, it’s cool. Just go on back to your Google search for “popcorn” or “pigtails,” and have a fabulous day!
Thanks so much for stopping by. Your encouragement and support mean the world to me.
I will generously leave your first post comment!
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And I’ll be your second!
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Yes, popcorn and pigtails can both be fun, but not entirely congruent. Never do I remember going to a movie and getting a tub of hot buttered pigtails. Also, when I had a chance to address a pretty girl with that hairstyle, I do not remember slipping up and telling her, “Hey, nice popcorn.” All that said, I wish you droves–droves, I say unto you–of satisfied, fanatical readers.
Break the leg, as we artsy-fartsy theater people say.
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Best, best of luck with your new venture!
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Nice way to start a blog!
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Congrats on your blog! I loved your first post, and I’m sure they will all be as fun and interesting to read.
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I can not wait.
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